Nov. 11, 2015: Gina Rivera Tip of the Week

Though we all try to minimalize it, there is always going to be some sort of conflict going on in our lives. It could be a conflict in a relationship, conflict with a schedule, conflict with your children’s schedules or a conflict with your boss. Whatever it is, unfortunately, we all have them at one time or another!

I believe how you deal with conflicts makes all the difference when it comes to being at peace or being in turmoil. If you want to stay at peace, like most of us do, I recommend you review your situation and determine what items can be eliminated to make your life less stressful. This is the first step towards reducing your opportunity for conflict.

Conflicts can weigh you down, stress you out to the max, and suck the life out of you. I wish I was a psychology expert or even better, had a crystal ball, so that I could advise you of possible dangers ahead and how to live your life without conflict. Unfortunately, I can’t because throughout the years I have had a few conflicts myself.

However, through those experiences I have gained some useful tools for addressing conflict in a much more efficient manner than I did in my earlier years. I recognized that conflicts had the potential to hold me back from progressing in life, business, as a parent and as a leader. I knew it was important to develop a strategy.

Here’s what I did; I had to step back and learn to pick my battles. This meant I had to prioritize and identify what I wanted out of life. I began by sifting through the issues that were holding me back emotionally, physically and otherwise. I recommend making a list of these items. For me, the funny part of it was that a lot of them were very silly, easy fixes.

Next, I had to determine what I was willing to change in an attempt to eliminate the conflict. Sometimes this may require giving up some items for others. I had to dig deep inside myself and go back to my core values as a person, a professional, and a leader. This helped me to determine what I needed to give up. The items that aligned the closest with my belief system were items that I knew I needed to keep. The items that did not align were first on the chopping block.

Change was not quick for me and it may not be for you. It took me a long time to learn to make sacrifices. For example, I knew my children and family were a huge priority. This meant I had too I start leaving work earlier so that I could watch my kids sports practices, games or just experience a nice evening at home, complete with time to cook.

Yes, I missed out on taking a client and loosing income. However, I didn’t feel conflicted anymore because the time spent with my children aligned with my beliefs. I knew they were growing up fast and I would rather miss out on a client than miss out on their lives.

Initially, some people may not accept the changes you make when you start down this path. I had to learn to detach myself from people who didn’t support my decisions because I knew trying to please them would not lead to a greater sense of peace for me.

I recommend identifying the items creating conflict, resolve the issues by making the hard decisions and deal with them immediately when they arise. I had to learn to confront conflict instead of avoid it. It may be hard at first but I guarantee, once you do this, you will feel like a bird out of a cage.

Eliminate the conflict now, don’t wait. Get your energy and drive back, become empowered and train yourself to evaluate things based on your core values. Then, stick close to the values when making decisions. I wanted to become a successful wife, mother, Salon Professional and President of a company. Trust me, without following this method, I couldn’t have done it. So, whatever it is that you want to accomplish, start facing your conflicts head on and get rid of as many as possible! You’ll be happier for it. And, as I always say, be open to change.